HERO

Twice in the last week Eric and I have gotten to play hero to Brynnlee. It is the most amazing feeling. Teagan is really getting to see and do a lot of things early b/c we want to make sure Brynnlee is getting exposed - so Teagan is also getting to see/do... but nothing quite compares to the feeling of being an almost two year old's hero! :)
Saturday we took the train to Old Town for an afternoon of walking around a festival celebrating the stage coach days and a yummy lunch of Mexican food. The moment we sat down in our seats on the train - Brynnlee took a big deep breath and said "choochoo train" with her eyes wide open and taking in every sight and every sound. She rubbed her chubby little hands on the seats to feel the fabric. She pressed her nose against the smudged window (totally freaking ME out about germs... gross!) to make sure she was close enough to see everything we passed. As the train started rolling she mumbled something - and then said it again louder. The third time she said it really loud and started smiling very wide. I realized.... she was saying "all aboard". It was so lovely and made my heart ache a little.... I started to cry. Eric thought I was nuts, but you have to understand... we almost missed the train b/c of traffic and were literally running down the ramp to the train with two little girls.... it was frenzied and if we had missed that train we would have missed this moment of quiet and not so quiet gratefullness. She loved the train. It was a beautiful moment I will remember until my days get confused and Brynnlee and Teagan are taking care of us. I loved every moment of the train ride. Even the part where Brynnlee freaked out b/c there was trash we told her she couldn't touch... and that a man that worked on the train would pick it up.... and then the man checking tickets walked right past it. She could not believe the "man working" did not get the trash. Oh LORD... the world was ending. And I loved it. : )

Today was just as beautiful. Last week I returned a book to the Bookmobile on it's due date. This was a mortal sin to Brynnlee. You see, that very night we told her to pick a book to read before bed and she started look for the "ME book"; the very book I had returned just 4 short hours earlier. The book is called "I am ME" and apparently Brynnlee loves it. Eric took her back to bed and fielded a slew of questions about what happened to the book. "Where ME book go, Daddy?" "Momma and Daddy take book away?" "ME book all gone, oh no"
Eric returned to the living room where I was nursing Teagan with a horrible look on his face and proceeded to tell me how sad she was and how she thought we took her book away. I thought these thoughts and concerns over the book would subside by morning. Alas, they did not. They continued through the weekend, at Sears on Monday while I picked up the new air conditioner, all day Tuesday and into this morning. I knew we had to get that book back! So this afternoon, following a lunch of carrots, applesauce and slices of cheese, we departed for the base library.
As soon as we entered a familiar libarian said "hurry if you want to see the clown!". CLOWN! Are you kidding, here we come! : ) We rushed to the children's section pushing Teagan in the stroller with Brynnlee scurrying along holding my hand. There was SPARKLES. Clowns scare the business out of me, but Brynnlee seemed intrigued... so I rolled with it. : ) About 20 kids were sitting in front of this goofy lady with pig-tails in awe of her very presence. It was pretty fabulous. Brynnlee would not leave my side. I ended up sitting on the floor "cris-cross-applesauce" as Sparkles called it, with Teagan slung over my shoulder eyeing the parents in chairs (smart parents... smarter than I!) and Brynnlee nestled in my lap. I was drenched in sweat from two girls clinging to me.... but it was all worth it as the show kept Brynnlee's attention for over 30 minutes! The clown was cute - but her finale is what blew Brynnlee's mind. She was picking children from the crowd and PUTTING THEM INSIDE BUBBLES. She had a hula-hoop in a big pan of bubble solution and with the child standing in a bucket (hey, this was high class clowning...hehe) in the middle of the hoop, she would ask them where they wanted to go. Then she would pull the hoop up over the top of their heads and large bubble would be around them - as she would say, "poof, you're at the beach" (or Paris, or sadly, Iraq as one little boy requested...huge lump in my throat for that!) Well, at the end of the show Brynnlee was allowed to go up and try the bubble trick. I lifted her to go in the bucket and the child's legs literally went sideways. It was as though she didn't want ANY part of her body any where near that clown and her bubbles. However, after silently refusing to try it... she watched 20 other kids stand in line and "go places" in the bubbles. It was after the last child tried the bubbles that Brynnlee took my hand and started shuffling over to the clown. She didn't lift her feet off the ground an inch... she just slid them closer in little shuffles to the bubble circle. I lifted her into the bucket and she stood motionless there as the clown made a huge bubble around her. I laughed to myself that this bubbly little girl stood there, so nervous and shaking, but not even looking up, as she tried this wonder of all wonders. It was awesome. I loved it!
The true excitement came after the clown and the bubbles were all packed up and gone. I approached the librarian with the girls and explained our predicament with the "ME book". She looked it up on the computer and within about 90 seconds Brynnlee was holding the beloved book in her chubby little hands. She said "LOVE LIBRARY" and then sat down to read her book. It was at this point I tried to thank the librarian but choked on my words as the tears flowed down my cheeks and I cried out of relief and joy that Brynnlee might again have faith in Mommy and Daddy. The librarian patted me on the back, smiled and said "I know." It was perfect. A perfect afternoon.

Hero is a pretty strong word for mommy or daddy... but it is apparently fitting in the eyes of our almost 2 year old. I know my parents are my heros and I can only hope to be like them.

Life is good.
xoxo, Jennie

Oh such JOY

After a rough couple of days with Teagan struggling with a cold and Mommy (ME!) feeling out of sorts from little sleep and the same cold - heavy emotions come too easily. Eric took Brynnlee grocery shopping this afternoon for a little one on one time. I enjoyed some cuddle time with Teagan in our big bed, keeping her propped up so she could rest and breathe a little easier. It was an average day.... the best kind.
Just a bit ago I was getting Brynnlee ready for bed and we sang a silly ditty from "Blue's Clues" - Brynnlee chiming in at the end with her favorite part - the loudest part. It goes "here's the mail, it never fails, makes me want to wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail - MAIL!".... I am sure you can guess the part Brynnlee bellows!!! ;) I can see down her throat when she hollers it out and we both laugh so hard it hurts. Even Daddy was laughing and Teagan looked embarrassed to be a member of our family. (a look Charlie has often had when spending time with Mom, Dad and moi - his lovely sister!) Anyway.... as the pj dawning and milk swilling came to a close we brushed teeth and said our goodnights before heading back to B's room for a few library books and cuddling before lights out. Our goodnights are a little reminiscent of the Waltons' --- "nigh night Daddy" - "nigh night Brynnlee" - "nigh night Teagan" - SILENCE - "love you Brynnlee" - "LUB YOU DADDY!".... and then we excuse ourselves to Brynnlee's room.
Once I settled into the glider with Brynnlee in my lap and a good book to read - I just felt an overall sense of gratefulness and joy.... tempered by a little sadness that these days go by so fast. I think that many emotions of raising children are "tempered" by realities and for this I am so thankful to God because if it were all sunshine and light it would be far too sad to watch the days of babies and toddlers end and the days of school, car keys, and moving away draw too near..... far too quickly.
We read the same book three times - because Brynnlee asked so nicely each time. "Please, Momma, agaaaiiiinnnnn" she pleads so sweetly. And so we read it again. At the end of the third round with the same book she crawled onto my lap to face me, gave me a good squeeze around the neck (this reminds me of someone I so dearly love!) and then rested her head on my left shoulder. I could feel her hot toddler breath on my neck and smell the fruity smell of fluoride free toothpaste for kids who swallow everything that goes in their mouth :) and then she began to talk total nonsense. "Bird, Momma, the bird. And the dog. And books go on floor with baby." I am not sure of what importance this all was.... but it brought tears to my eyes. Her babble is so innocent and sweet. I adore it. She lifted her head once to ask me to draw on her palm with my finger. This makes her giggle a bit. I did that a few times and then she rested her head on my shoulder again. I sang her my favorite hymn, we prayed for the troops and our President like we always do, but with special emphasis on them because today is the Fourth of July. We expressed how thankful we are for the good dinner we had and our Daddy and little sister and then we were silent. Brynnlee rubbed my arm with one hand and rested quietly. I could feel the lump forming in my throat and the tears brimming on my lower lids as I silently thanked God for our little angels. Then I started wondering how I would ever go about my life once they are all grown up. It is then that the tempering of reality sets in - how tired I am on many days and how many miles I will have to walk to wear my old wardrobe.... how much the good car seats cost and Lordy.... how much college costs.... how I may never see Europe or Tahiti but am guaranteed to see my share of poopy diapers. These worries seem so small when compared to the joy my girls bring me.... but thank goodness they exist because otherwise watching them leave home someday might just put me in the cookoo's nest. :)
It was when my thoughts were become a little overwhelming and I was sure my tears were reaching Brynnlee's warm little neck that she looked at me and said "bed, Momma, bed." And that is where I put her. She looked up at me with her blankets and 52 babies surrounding her and said "lub you Momma" and I love her too.
xoxo